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Literature Text
on my way I was to dive, into your oceanic eyes
'n plunge too deep to ever rise
but then fell down on me the skies!
just as you blinked 'o my dear
and the things, when got bit clear
stuck I was in your eyelashes, like a helpless drop of tear!
'n plunge too deep to ever rise
but then fell down on me the skies!
just as you blinked 'o my dear
and the things, when got bit clear
stuck I was in your eyelashes, like a helpless drop of tear!
poor timing eh! :S
© 2009 - 2024 Melanch0lic
Comments11
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I dislike the "..." I don't feel they add much to the poem, especially in their placement I think a comma would do jsut fine in place, it looks better and I think it would give the reader the pause you want them to take. when you use "n" and "o" I woudl consider adding an apostrphe to it like " 'n ". I really liked the last line, very nice imagery and a very strong end. I thinkt he rhyme and flow of this is done very well and it was a good read.
From the founder of #The-Writers-Review
From the founder of #The-Writers-Review